Stubborn Mule African Proverb
When you receive advice that you refuse to follow, do not be surprised at the results.
You roll your eyes and say I know…I know but, in the end, a tree falls on you and you die ~ African Proverb
What is stubbornness
Stubbornness is basically a rooted
resistance to change. Moreover, given that life is all about change,
stubbornness is effective resistance to life itself. A fundamental
resistance drives the person with stubbornness to being forced to do anything
or experience anything against his will. The personality with stubbornness is
over-sensitive to the possibility of having sudden or unwanted change imposed and
sees the threat of it everywhere. Anything new, different, or involving change
is perceived as a direct threat even if the change in question is positive and
in the person’s best interests.
In the case of stubbornness,
the early negative experiences typically consist of domestic instability or
upheaval and the stress of having to suddenly put up with new situations. The
situations causing such stress could be beyond the parents’ control, such as
having to uproot in a time of war. The cumulative effect is a desperate desire
for stability and familiarity, to stay put and have everything nailed into place,
and to fend off anything new or unfamiliar.
Because of this constant fear,
the individual will crave permanence, stability and predictability. Therefore,
the basic coping strategy is to resist change and any possibility of change. The
chief feature of stubbornness will often insist nothing is wrong in the first
place, no matter what evidence there is to the contrary, but once illness has
occurred, it then strives to continue the pattern so that nothing so dangerous
as new improvement is permitted. All people are capable of this kind of behavior.
When it dominates the personality, however, one is said to have a chief feature
of stubbornness.